


The Cure

by phoenix316



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 22:09:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29923578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenix316/pseuds/phoenix316
Summary: Remus Lupin has lived with the wolf as long as he can remember. When a cure for Lycanthropy is discovered, he has to decide if he can live without his constant companion.
Kudos: 2





	The Cure

**Author's Note:**

> This is an AU and not epilogue compliant story set 10 years after the Battle of Hogwarts. In this AU, Remus survived the final battle (something I have a hard time forgiving JKR for doing since Lycanthropy was supposed to be analogous to being HIV positive and he would have been the best ambassador to fight for equality) and also never married Tonks (a relationship I still don't quite get). I hope you enjoy and as always kudos and reviews keep the muses fed so they are encouraged to keep providing me new ideas.

Remus Lupin stared at the _Daily Prophet_ in disbelief. He had read the headline three times and still couldn’t believe it. Now he finally delved into the article.

It was true. A Potions Master had not just found a way to halt the transformation of Lycanthropes, but to completely end it. With three doses of one potion, a person could be cured.

A cure.

For decades it was the one thing he had hoped for. The formulation of the Wolfsbane Potion that allowed him to retain his human mind while the wolf had been amazing. Finally, he had control over his actions while transformed. But this would mean that he would never have to choke down that vile concoction again. He would never have to be the wolf again.

He began to wonder what that would be like.

After a few moments he realized that he could not remember life without the wolf. Yes, he tried to suppress the wolf, but it was always there, even when he was not transformed. What would life without the wolf be like? Would he still be himself or would he be someone different?

This thought scared him. He knew that most people affected with Lycanthropy had been bitten as adults. To them it would be a welcome relief to once again be themselves, to be free from any wolffish urges.

Remus had no idea what that would mean for him. It was ten years since the war was over. He had worked with Kingsley to ensure that all Lycanthropes would have access to the Wolfsbane Potion and for those who never received an education a chance to receive one. Together they had helped the Wizarding World realize that they had been responsible for that segment of the population joining with You-Know-Who. He had also served as a fantastic ambassador that his kind could be trusted and productive members of society. As such, he was once again teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts along with being Head of House for Gryffindor. Minerva had lobbied hard for him to be rehired.

Realizing he was sitting at the head table and that students were staring and whispering, he left his half-eaten breakfast at the table and retired to his office, paper tucked under his arm.

Once there he began pacing. A cure would mean that no one would have to cover his classes when the moon fell during the week and was full for two nights. It would mean no more long recovery from the torture of transformation. It would mean he could live a normal life.

But it would also mean saying farewell to the wolf. Over the last several years, he had finally come to embrace the wolf and accept that it was part of who he was. Was he really ready to say goodbye to that? Was he ready to say goodbye to the part of himself that could be aggressive and assertive when it was required? This was the part of himself that allowed him to successfully defend students and members of the Order during the Battle of Hogwarts. If he said goodbye to the wolf, who would he be?

There was a knock at his door.

“Yes?” He called out, still distracted by the news.

Minerva cautiously entered his office. “Remus?”

“Please, come in, Minerva,” he said, trying to return to the present.

“Is everything all right?” she asked.

“I don’t know,” he replied honestly as he handed her the newspaper.

It took her a few moments to notice the article about the cure for Lycanthropy. A broad smile broke out across her face. “That’s wonderful news!”

“Is it?” He asked cautiously.

With a wave of her wand, Minerva conjured a tea set and poured out for both of them. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

He stared at his teacup before taking a sip, trying to decide what to say next. “It seems like its good news, and I’m sure it is for many of my kind, but I don’t know if it is for me.”

“Why ever not?” she asked, sounding clearly confused.

He sighed. “I was bitten so young; I have no memory of my life before that event. Thankfully I don’t even remember being bitten, but the wolf has always been a part of me. Mostly an unwelcome part, but the last few years we have learned how to live together. What happens when the wolf is gone? I don’t know what’s me and what’s the wolf.”

It was Minerva’s turn to sip tea and think. “I see.”

There was a very long, uncomfortable silence. Remus had no idea what to say.

Finally, Minerva set down her teacup and looked into his eyes. “This is a decision that only you can make. There are obvious advantages to you being cured, but you know how you feel about it. No matter what decision you make, I will support you.”

“What if the parents start asking? I think we can both assume that they would much prefer that I be cured. As I would still be missing class, it would be obvious that I have not been cured. You still have to answer to the Board of Governors, who will listen to the parents.”

“True.” She stared out the window for several long moments. “Let me arrange someone to take over your classes for the rest of the day, maybe longer, give you some time to think about this.”

He smiled weakly. “Thank you.”

She rose to her feet. “My door is open if you need to talk,” she said before leaving him alone.

He vanished the tea set and decided to return to his quarters since he would not be teaching class today. Once there he paced restlessly. For not the first time, he wished he could talk to Sirius about this. That was the problem. He had no idea who he could speak to. He thought possibly Harry, but he knew that Harry would be at work today, as would just about anyone else he could think of. Only now was he realizing how very alone he was, how he had buried himself in teaching to the exclusion of all else.

After pacing his quarters for about half an hour, he knew that he was accomplishing nothing. What he needed was a change of scenery. Grabbing his cloak, he decided to head to Diagon Alley and spend some time in the Great Wizarding Library, to see if he could find a book that would offer him some advice, some assistance in making this decision.

It was mid-morning by the time he arrived, but because it was a weekday, it wasn't especially busy. Unfortunately, he wasn't exactly sure what he was looking for and he wasn't sure how to describe it to the librarians. Over the years, he had read everything on lycanthropy he could, which there wasn't much and most of it was overly sensational. But he knew that none of it was of any use to him. He headed towards the area that had books on mental health. Perhaps there would be something there that could help him come to terms with making a potentially life altering decision.

Around one in the afternoon, he decided to take a break and grab something to eat. He ended up getting a sandwich from a nearby shop because it was easiest. He then returned to the library, hoping to find something more useful. He wished he had Sirius or James to talk to. One of them might have been able to help him come to a decision.

After another hour, he pushed back the latest book he had been looking through, utterly frustrated by the fact that he could find nothing that might guide him in making a decision. He pressed his hands against his head in frustration.

"Remus? Is that you?" quietly asked friendly voice.

"Hermione?" he asked in reply, quite surprised to see her here.

"I thought you'd be at Hogwarts?" she asked, clearly confused by his presence.

He decided to be honest. "Minerva gave me some time off to digest this morning's news," he said soberly.

Hermione glanced at the books on the table and the tone of his words and replied, "Did you want someone to talk to?"

He looked into her eyes. They had formed a close friendship following the war when she had helped him work with Kingsley to help his kind, and she had such a level head. Perhaps should could help him make sense of his inner conflict. "Sure," he replied, though he was not enthusiastic. He closed and neatly stacked all the books he had been going through with a flick of his wand and let her lead the way out of the library.

Hermione led him to the Leaky Cauldron and a table in the back corner where they were unlikely to be overheard given it was early enough the evening crowd had not yet assembled. She waited until Tom delivered two pints. "I take it you don't think this morning's news is good?"

He spun his mug around on the table, watching as he shifted the handle from his left to the right and back around. "It is good news… for most people. I…"

Rather than interjecting right away, Hermione waited for him to continue.

After a very uncomfortable silence, he said, "It's always been a part of me, always there, even when the moon isn't full… I was bitten so young, what does it mean for me? I can't recall a life without the wolf. If I take the cure, it takes the wolf from me, and what am I left with?"

"And that's what you were trying to do in the library?"

He took a big gulp of his pint. "I don't know what I was trying to do. Looking for information on personality changes or something, I don't know." He let his head fall down to his hands. "I'm scared. I know who I am now, but without the wolf, I don't know who I will be."

She reached out and put her hand on his arm. "That would be pretty scary."

"And who do I turn to for help? The others of my kind were all bitten in adulthood. They got to grow up, figure out who they were and perhaps learn to suppress the wolf because it wasn't part of them for their whole lives." He waited for her to say something else. "I see I've stumped you, as well."

"What has Minerva said?" she finally asked.

"She says that she will support me whatever I decide, but I know that parents won't be happy if I continue to teach as I am now. They will pressure her to make me take the cure. I feel that I have no choice, despite what she has told me."

"I'm sure that Minerva will fight for you. She already fought to get you on her staff. I don't see her letting the Governors tell her who she can have as her teachers."

He smiled weakly. "Perhaps."

"Maybe talking to the others as they take the cure can help you make your decision. Perhaps the wolf isn't as much a part of you as you think. Have any of them said how much they feel it's presence when it's not full moon?"

It occurred to him that in all his years working with and being around his kind, he had never asked that question. "I don't know," he admitted sheepishly. "It never seemed important. I know I feel it, but I can control it. Though sometimes around the full moon, I slip a little."

After a few seconds, Hermione responded, "I think that's what you should do. Ask someone how much they feel wolf, how much they think it's changed them."

"Maybe." He took another deep draught of his drink and looked down at the table.

"Remus," she paused, waiting for him to look up at her before continuing, "your condition doesn't define you. You were the best teacher I had a Hogwarts, you fought valiantly, you did so much to help others. You are a good man now, and you will be a good man if you are cured."

He tried his best to smile. "Thank you for your vote of confidence."

"Let me know if you want to talk later," she offered.

He finished his drink. "I will."

"Remus, I mean it. Don't forget you have friends outside of Hogwarts."

He smiled at her. "I won't. I'll send you an owl if I want to meet back up." He rose to his feet and headed out the door. As he walked down the Alley, he headed straight to Quality Quidditch Supplies. 

As he walked in, he was greeted with, "Welcome to Quality Quidd… Oh, hi, Remus. I wasn't expecting you."

"No, I imagine you weren't. I was wondering if you wanted to meet for a pint when you got off work? I have a few questions I want to ask you about today's news." He hoped that would be vague enough.

"Sure. I get off in an hour. Leaky?" he asked.

"Sounds good, Alex. I'll be sitting at the table in the back corner." Remus decided to spend a little bit of time window shopping and trying to let his mind process everything. He wasn't sure how successful he was being. After half an hour, he decided to head back to the Leaky Cauldron to make sure he could get the table. Thankfully it was still open. Feeling peckish, he ordered some pub snacks to go with his pint that he planned on nursing until Alex arrived.

He raised his hand when he saw Alex enter the pub.

Alex sat and said, "Kind of surprised you were out today."

"I know." Remus paused to allow Alex to order a pint and offered to share the food, which Alex declined. "I needed a little time off after this morning."

"Oh? I think it's marvelous news and I can't wait," Alex said excitedly. "But you can?" Alex asked seeing the Remus did not mirror his enthusiasm.

"I was really young when it happened. I don't even remember what it was like before. You do. That's why I wanted to talk."

"Okay. But about what?" Alex asked, clearly not following Remus' train of thought.

"After it happened, do you think you changed, your personality, I mean. Do you feel it all the time or just…" He was trying not to speak in too many details since most of his kind held their secret close to the vest.

"I don't know if I changed. My wife says I didn't, but I don't know that I believe her. I know I anger more quickly, you know…"

Remus knew he was referring to the moon waxing full. "Yeah, I know. It's the same for me."

"Other than that, I don't know. I mean I'm still me."

Remus thought that those words echoed Hermione's. "I guess there is that."

As though filling in the unsaid blank, Alex asked, "But you think if you take the cure, you won't be you anymore, don't you?"

Remus nodded. "It's been with me so long, I just don't know how much of me is me and how much… the other. What happens if I take it and I change? What if I become someone else without it always there with me? I know for you it hasn't been that long, but it's been more than forty years for me, nearly forty-five, and it included almost all my childhood."

"That's a good question. I mean I can't see you becoming a totally different person. You would still have all your memories and your experiences, and I think those have done more to shape you than the other thing."

"Maybe. But it still scares me to not have it there anymore. It's all I've ever known."

There was a long silence before Alex spoke. "Look, I lived almost forty years without it. I was forced to adapt to it, but remember my wife said I didn't really change. If gaining it didn't really change me, I'd presume that losing it won't really change you. Can you imagine not having to drink the potion every month, to be able to fully enjoy life, to go on moonlit walks? It used to be my favorite thing to do with my wife."

Remus knew that Alex was right about that. He knew that transforming was taking a horrible toll on him, one that he would be glad to never do again.

"Don't you think that a little bit of uncertainty is worth never having to go through any of that again? I know I do."

"Thanks for the advice, Alex. I think you may be right. But I think I need some more time to come to terms with what it means for me."

"I hope you go through with it. I can't imagine having gone through what you have. It's only been ten years for me, and I'm ready to be done with this. I know you're scared. I was scared when it happened to me, wondering what was to become of me, would my family stick with me, would I be able to support them, how I would function, and like you said, if it would change me. And I know you are going through a lot of the same things. Part of life is adapting when things change. This is a good thing. Hell, I'd wager it's a great thing. Embrace it and the change it brings."

"Thanks again, Alex. I won't keep you. Since I'm out, I think I'll just grab dinner here."

"Enjoy the evening and I'll see you around," Alex said before departing.

Remus hung around until it was reasonably dinner time, albeit earlier than he normally ate. He was starting to come to terms with accepting a cure and realizing that it would change his life in ways he could not know. He knew there were times he drew strength from the wolf, at least he thought he did.

By the time he finished dinner, he had a small buzz from the ale. He wasn't sure he wanted to return to Hogwarts just yet. He felt there was one more thing he had to do. He Apparated to Godric's Hollow and walked purposely to a specific residence. Before he could pause and think, he found he was knocking on the door. Only then did he seem to realize what he was doing and how seemingly foolish it was.

When the door opened, Hermione had a look of surprise on her face. "Remus? I wasn't expecting you."

"I apologize. I hope I'm not intruding."

She slipped out the door and closed it behind her. "Actually, I have company right now."

He knew this has been a foolish idea and this only proved it. "I see. I'm sorry. I'll go." He started to turn.

"Wait. What did you need?" she asked softly.

"It's nothing," he said, presuming that her company was of the male persuasion. He tried to keep the hurt out of his voice. She had never indicated their friendship should be anything more, and he had never pushed for it knowing how difficult his life was. 

"You wouldn't be here if it's nothing," she replied.

He waffled; should he walk away or should he tell her why he was here? Finally, he decided to draw on the wolf one last time. He stepped closer, wrapped his arms around her, and pulled her tight for a kiss. At first she was stiff, but then she relaxed and let him deepen the kiss. They were both breathless when he released her. "I'll let you get back to your guest." He turned to leave.

"That's it?" she asked in confusion.

Keeping his back to her, he asked, "Do you want it to be more?"

"I do. I just thought, you know, you and Sirius…"

He closed his eyes tightly, gaining control of his emotions. "Nothing more than friends, though I can see how you would think that." He knew that he had repressed his feelings, knowing what his condition was doing to him, he felt he was unsuitable as a partner.

"Can you come back tomorrow? Say six?"

He had hoped for tonight now that he had revealed his feelings, but he had no idea how serious she was about whoever was in her flat. He turned around and smiled at her. "See you tomorrow at six." He walked away, heading to the edge of town before he Disapparated for the Hogwarts gates.

One the walk back to the castle, he felt he had finally made his decision. He would indeed take the cure and see what happened. He had no more need of the wolf.


End file.
